Where do I fit?
Where do I fit into this picture? There is so much that goes on around me. I have so many people coming to me with their anxieties, fears, frustrations, hurts, joys. I know that I only typed one positive thing in that list, and though there are plenty of times when I get to share joyful moments with people, but my heart goes out to them in the greatest way when they share the negative things with me. I don’t know what to do in all of this. Do people want an ear that will listen? Do they want someone to tell them everything is going work out? Do they want advice on how to handle it? Do they want to hear that God is working and that He is in control?
I know that when I was going through a hard time I wanted some of these things from some people and different things from others. But that constantly changed. I got tired of all of the clichéd phrases about God going to get me through and that He was in control. I knew those things already but it didn’t match with what I was going through. Even though I believe that God is sovereign and He is constantly working in the lives of those who desire His will it is still hard for me to grasp and understand the idea that God is in control. Someone who feels as though they have been betrayed by God does not want to hear that God is in control. I didn’t want to hear it.
I know that this is getting in to the ultimate question of human free will and God’s sovereignty and omnipotence and I don’t mean to go off on that monumental tangent. I do want to make the point though that when people come to me with all of their struggles I don’t always know what to tell them. I know what it is like to go through pain and to feel betrayed by God. I have experienced it in two immense ways in my life and numerous smaller ways. I want the people who come to me to know that and to know that I can relate to them. But I don’t know how to communicate that in a way that is comforting.
In much of the suffering times that I’ve gone through, I have not been comforted. Granted, I have always made it through, but not without a struggle. I think what is most important to me is that I am not deceiving these people. Sometimes they are not going to be comforted in the times that they are going through, but that’s not always something that you want to hear when all you want is to be comforted that everything is going to be ok. I wish I knew more. I wish that I was wiser and ironically, I wish that I had experienced more in my 21 years so that I might have a little more to offer to these dear friends of mine.
Father, I ask you for wisdom, and discernment. I know that I sound like a broken record in asking you for that, but I strongly desire your guidance. Please, in your perfect wisdom, guide me in the way that you would have me go. Grant me the right words at the right times.
posted by Kessa @ 11:34:00 PM
2 Comments:
My screen name is Breakbeat Bob. You know me Kessa, and its relevance to anyone else is merely insignificant due to the fact I do not know anyone besides you on this server.
I read the first paragraph and thought I was missing a previous post or some incident that happened, but as I read on it became clear what you were conveying. People do seek some form of comfort when they express their problems or issues to another individual. This does propose a paradox for both people. You feel some responsibility to provide reassurances that the problem in question can be resolved or consoled, but what exactly are they looking for in verbal solace? Do you preach about God and his master plan for everyone, or do you try and explain life is a test with times that make you question your existence? Preach is used in a positive manner, not trying to stereotype you or express in any way that you preach to people, because you do not. I experience the same reservations that you have. You have to understand what they are looking for, and that is the hardest part. These people want to get a resolution, but they are trying to find something specific. Knowing what they want is the true challenge, one I am still working on myself.
I personally have a method that I feel is the most effective. First, empathize with the person; let them know that you have had your share of overwhelming emotional battles. You may not of experienced a problem with the magnitude they are talking about, but that is relative to each individual. Next, find out what they want to happen for the best resolution possible. Examine what they feel and how their positive outlook appears in this fictional situation. Once you analyze their statement, find out what they fear worst will happen. This is basically where you continue depending on the situation, explain on what you feel may happen, but do your best to console. I always let people know that this may be the worst time that they ever experienced, but you just have to keep trying your best to make it through. Life is not easy; sometimes it can be a continuous beating of emotional distraught, moral judgments, and physical torture. Just do not give up because you feel like you can not take it anymore. There have been days that I wish I would never wake up, or wanting to speed my car off a cliff because I could never find closure. The important fact is that I am still here, and plan to stay as long as possible.
“I control my destiny. In my heart I hold it; I can’t let the world get the best of me.” - Teren Delvon Jones
Where you fit in the picture all depends on you and your own personality. How you deal, and help other people all form who you are. Kess you have to realize that people are going to come to you your whole life for advice whether your current dreams come true or not, I'm not going to tell you how you should deal with these people, if I were that would be pointless, to do so would only make you more like me. I know that you know what not to and what to do. What it boils down is that you've MUST do what you feel must do, if you always follow other peoples advice how can your God speak to you? Unless you know of any good prophets in you area. Don't get me wrong I'm not saying it's wrong to ask for other people advice, it's one way we grow.
This whole situation just shows even more of you character, how you worry and toil about what kind of advice you give other and how to do it, If I didn't know you I would say it was out of vanity and how other people think of you, but I do and I know it is because you truely care about other people.
And if you find in your self a desire or whatever, did you ever think that the desire was never intended to be satisfied, why do we, as human want to balance everyting, there is not evil great enough to balance God's goodness, sometimes we are made to suffer.
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