Rejoicing Through Tears

I wrote this post a week and a half ago, but I couldn't post it due to the lack of internet access at my place. Now my internet access is concsistent and my computer is up nad running well, thanks to a friend so I can post. It is fitting for me to post this tonight since I received a card from my engaged friend who is now living in my hometown. Exciting times.

I have the need to write because I just experienced one of the greatest gifts of God in my life. I struggle with the words though because it was so far above me and my understanding. Three years ago, I met a girl that lived on the same hall as me in South Russell. The friendship developed like none other I’ve ever been in. From here we joined two other friends who became friends by living together as potluck roommates. The four of us began one of the most formative times in our lives together. There is nothing in my life that I have gone through in the past three years that these girls have not been a part of with me. The list of people in my life who have been more faithful to me than these three friends is slim, if it even exists at all.

It is precisely because of this beautiful, God-ordained friendship that my heart breaks tonight. Our four years together has been cut short by the graduation of one, which was quickly followed by the engagement of the same one. Though I rejoice with her, I can’t help but be selfish and wish that I had this last year of college to share with her. I have learned priceless wisdom from her that I will treasure forever. That last sentence was such an understatement but I don’t have words strong enough. I’ve been known to make up words before when I don’t have the right word to describe something so incredible, but I am not even capable of making up a word that can put my gratitude to God in words about these three friendships.

As the first of us moves on to a radically different life from what we have been used to and formed to for three years, I seek more than ever God’s continued grace on our friendship. Things will be different. I don’t like that, but at the same time, it excites me. Things will be changing for me over the next nine months as I make decisions about my continued education and learn more about my calling in life. My three beloved friendships will continue. I will have the joy of rooming with two in my apartment and I will enjoy the excitement of a wedding and marriage with the third.

I cry and laugh all in the same breath. My life changes and as always I have no control over many of the major changes that take place. I could be stubborn and dwell in the past, but I choose not to do that. I am anxious to see where God moves each of us. My heart still breaks for the change that is taking place, but it also rejoices. It rejoices because (though it sounds clichéd,) I rest in knowing that God knows my needs and He will provide. I pray that I will never take for granted the blessings that have been given me and always be grateful for God’s gifts like this friendship.

Bebo

I am normally pretty picky about which Christian artists I choose to listen to, and I am even more skeptical about which Christian concerts I choose to go to at Baylor. Bebo is most definitely one of my exceptions and I was not dissapointed in the least bit. Tonight was the most down to earth concert I have ever been to. Bebo is so simple. He writes all of his songs and the words are not showy or pretentious, they are completely real. Very few people can pull a 'George Strait' and stand in front of an audience with only his guitar and play and enjoy himself, but Bebo is qualified. He qualifies himelf simply because he doesn't need to put on a show and raise the level of spirituality by counting the number of closed eyes and raised hands. He just has a talent and he enjoys sharing it.

Tonight was almost like being in his garage and watching him and the boys pracitce. He normally does his shows by himself but he gathered together a band for about half of the songs tonight. (The other half was just him and his acoustic.) Although most of the Baylorites probably loved the lights and the show, I preferred Bebo and his guitar. At one point one, of the band members goofed and they stopped the song and started laughing at themselves and making fun of themselves. They were about to start again and Bebo couldn't remember the first words, so he asked the guys that were plying with him. After a bit, they remembered and began the song again. He also gave a great spiel towards the end, about the fact that he was not going to do an encore because they are so hokey. Bands always announce their last song and then they leave and go look at the script to remember what the real last song was that they had scheduled for the encore. He explained that he didn't like the join in the hokiness because he knew he would be lying if he said it was his last song when he had already planned an encore and the fans knew that he would be lying because they always ecpect an encore, so he just wasn't going to come out for one. So we were instructed to pretend that he had left the stage and then came back again for his last song.

I must say that this was the best "concert" that I have ever been to for numerous reasons. Most of the reasons, I've mentioned, but it would be difficult to recap everything. His album that came out about two years ago, Myself When I Am Real, resonated with me in many ways this past year. I went through a lot this year and Bebo's lyrics that sopke the promises of God's Word often brought comfort to me.

One of my favorite songs, that is not on the Myself When I Am Real album but is on his first album with the shoes on front, (can't think of the title right now) is The Hammer Holds. Bebo sang this tonight with his guitar and with one of the guys playing an accordian. (The same guy could also play several guitars and the dobro and dulcimer and probably numerous other random intruments.) I encourage you to buy his CDs. His latest one, Try, is coming out on Tuesday. (Baylor got a speacial priveledge to buy it a few days early.)

http://www.BeboNorman.com

Buy Bebo's Albums...

I won't give any commentary on the song because it speaks well for itself.

The Hammer Holds

A shapeless piece of steel, that's all I claim to be
This hammer pounds to give me form, this flame, it melts my dreams
I glow with fire and fury, as I'm twisted like a vine
My final shape, my final form I'm sure I'm bound to find

So dream a little, dream for me in hopes that I'll remain
And cry a little, cry for me so I can bear the flames
And hurt a little, hurt for me my future is untold
But my dreams are not the issue here, for they, the hammer holds

And the water, it cools me gray, and the hurt's subdued somehow
I have my shape, this sharpened point, what is my purpose now?
And the question still remains, what am I to be?
Perhaps some perfect piece of art displayed for all to see

So dream a little, dream for me in hopes that I'll remain
And cry a little, cry for me so I can bear the flames
And hurt a little, hurt for me my future is untold
But my dreams are not the issue here, for they, the hammer holds

The hammer pounds again, but flames I do not feel
This force that drives me, helplessly, through flesh, and wood reveals
A burn that burns much deeper, it's more than I can stand
The reason for my life was to take the life of a guiltless man

So dream a little, dream for me in hopes that I'll remain
And cry a little, cry for me so I can bear the pain
And hurt a little, hurt for me, my future is so bold
But my dreams are not the issue here, for they, the hammer holds

This task before me may seem unclear
But it, my maker holds.

Help!!

I'm trying to put links to friend's blogs on in my frame on the side. I can't find an option in profile or anywhere to add this. Do I have to set it up within the HTML code or is this a preference that I can find somewhere in my settings? Any help is appreciated!!

Funny Story

Last night I went to see The Village, yes, for the second time. I had a friend who hadn’t seen it yet, and I thought he would enjoy it, so I offered to sit through it a second time. Well, actually it was my idea to go, because I was anxious to see it again. It was better the first time around, but still worth seeing again. All of this is irrelevant to my point, but those of you who know me well know how I like details. So…back to my story.

Last night I went to see The Village. At one point in the movie, I was anticipating a scene when I remember something popping out and scaring me and I was trying to prepare for the moment. Well, my preparation attempts were in vain and it still scared the poop out of me (not literally, thank goodness.)

Since I am normally cold in a theater, I was in my normal fetal position. However, when the scary part came, I gave out some sort of shriek that surprised even me. In addition to my shriek, my four limbs went shooting away from me in my fetal position which probably looked like a bomb exploding from an outsiders point of view. My legs flew out in front of me with such force that I hit the chair in front of me with both feet, (thankfully there was no one sitting in front of me.)

::Side note::
As one of my odd attributes, I have a long second toe. Apparently, not many people have this great feature, so it is subject to many jokes. Well, I’ve just created another reason for it to be made fun of.
::End side note::

My left foot second toe hit the back of the chair so hard that it is bruised and hard to walk on. It is pretty swollen and I think it might even be broken, if not sprained badly. My right second toe has had a toe ring on it for many, many years and I hit that one so hard that the toe ring cut into my toe.

So, now I am trying hard to recover my poor toes. Oh, and by the way, I still like the fact that my second toe is longer than my first. It makes me different.