Rejoicing Through Tears

I wrote this post a week and a half ago, but I couldn't post it due to the lack of internet access at my place. Now my internet access is concsistent and my computer is up nad running well, thanks to a friend so I can post. It is fitting for me to post this tonight since I received a card from my engaged friend who is now living in my hometown. Exciting times.

I have the need to write because I just experienced one of the greatest gifts of God in my life. I struggle with the words though because it was so far above me and my understanding. Three years ago, I met a girl that lived on the same hall as me in South Russell. The friendship developed like none other I’ve ever been in. From here we joined two other friends who became friends by living together as potluck roommates. The four of us began one of the most formative times in our lives together. There is nothing in my life that I have gone through in the past three years that these girls have not been a part of with me. The list of people in my life who have been more faithful to me than these three friends is slim, if it even exists at all.

It is precisely because of this beautiful, God-ordained friendship that my heart breaks tonight. Our four years together has been cut short by the graduation of one, which was quickly followed by the engagement of the same one. Though I rejoice with her, I can’t help but be selfish and wish that I had this last year of college to share with her. I have learned priceless wisdom from her that I will treasure forever. That last sentence was such an understatement but I don’t have words strong enough. I’ve been known to make up words before when I don’t have the right word to describe something so incredible, but I am not even capable of making up a word that can put my gratitude to God in words about these three friendships.

As the first of us moves on to a radically different life from what we have been used to and formed to for three years, I seek more than ever God’s continued grace on our friendship. Things will be different. I don’t like that, but at the same time, it excites me. Things will be changing for me over the next nine months as I make decisions about my continued education and learn more about my calling in life. My three beloved friendships will continue. I will have the joy of rooming with two in my apartment and I will enjoy the excitement of a wedding and marriage with the third.

I cry and laugh all in the same breath. My life changes and as always I have no control over many of the major changes that take place. I could be stubborn and dwell in the past, but I choose not to do that. I am anxious to see where God moves each of us. My heart still breaks for the change that is taking place, but it also rejoices. It rejoices because (though it sounds clichéd,) I rest in knowing that God knows my needs and He will provide. I pray that I will never take for granted the blessings that have been given me and always be grateful for God’s gifts like this friendship.