For the Love...
There have been a few relationships and friendships in my life where I have loved the other person with everything that is in me. Inevitably, I have been let down in one way or another in many of these relationships. I have usually understood the reasons for this and I am sure that I have let others down before. When asked one time about a particular relationship that caused pain in my life, if I would fully engage in the relationship again knowing the pain that it would cause, I considered the question and then confidently answered "yes." In all the relationships that I have given as much as I know how to give that have caused some type of pain in my life, given the opportunity to choose to engage in it again or not with the full knowledge of the pain that I would go through, I would still choose to go through it. (Read that sentence again, slowly…It does make sense, though it’s a run-on.) I may be overestimating my abilities in doing this, but I still think that I would give the love despite the pain. I think that this is the closest thing to agape love that I know and understand. I know that it is not fully agape because my motives in the relationships are not wholly selfless, but I think that it is the closest thing I know of.
Why would I go though the pain again? Because that is what relationships are about. I would never be able to engage in a relationship if I avoided all of those that would cause me pain. Pain is an inevitable part of this world and the fallen nature of humanity. I believe that God intends for the church to be lived in community. This seems obvious when one looks at the first church in Acts 2. God knows that we cannot handle life on our own, so He blesses our lives with each other. It is never God's fault that we get hurt, but rather the fault of our fallen state. So still, when asked the question about whether I will engage in the relationship, knowing the pain it will bring to me, I will say with confidence, "yes." I will learn to love others, knowing they will hurt me, and I will probably hurt them.
posted by Kessa @ 8:46:00 PM
3 Comments:
i only said "he" b/c it is obvious that it is a "he" that can be so confusing for disappointing. all semantics aside concerning failure and disappointment, i really am sorry things didnt work out; i am not ignorant of such feelings. so let me start again... lets toss my opinion out the window and let me say this: the lord gives and he takes away. and it still hurts. -some random girl
BUT....even though you say your would without a doubt engage in this relationship again, would it be whole heartedly? I only ask the question, because the word "trust" comes to mind. It is human nature to put up a guard when you have been hurt and when trust has been broken. Do you feel you would let down this burrier and could honestly put the past behind you with out EVER thinking of it again. Or, was it agape love the first time, and something else the second time around?
~BB
What I meant is that, given the opportunity to engage in the relationship for the first time, knowing ahead of time the pain I would encouter, I would still go through the relationship again because the joy experienced in the relationship far outweighs the pain it may cause. At least that is the case with the vast majority of the people I have invested in with time, energy and love. Hopefully that clarifies things.
About "trust," I have learned that my trust barriers aren't that high. It is pretty easy for me to trust even if I have been hurt. I'm not sure why it seems to easy for me, but as long as I can keep open communication with someone, then it is not so difficult for me to trust them. Yes, it is possible for me to be deceived, but I guess that is a risk that I don't naturally guard against and am willing to take. I think that may be because I don't expect perfection from people. I also work very hard to not let my emotions carry me but to think things through before I react. Perhaps these two things combined form just enough guard on my emotions for me to be able to trust easily.
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